Finding my Roots

 

Finding my Roots

It seems like my hair has always been dyed. 

At some point, I just started to hide. 

Starting in sixth grade, when it had to be a bright, bleached blonde- or bust. 

I was so desperately yearning to be like my best friend, I must

fit in

to the mold 

so out with the old

the boxed dye came out- 

and so did the orange tinged fail of tiger stripes throughout. 

My dark eyebrows screamed out so stark 

against the bark 

of the screeching blonde. 

The blonde said: I can be light, I can be bright 

But try with all my might,

I couldn’t fight

the hurt,

I would pretend

I could fit in

desperate to blend in

 at any cost

I was lonely, lost

My dark roots like a secret would sprout. 

The real me could not dare come out. 

Looking back, I was hurt, I look rough

It wasn’t enough

My high school senior year

It was fire engine red.

Screaming out 

I was strong

I’d stay ahead

Approach me with dread,

Mess with me, you’re dead.

Red said: No one dare

I don’t care

But I lied,

I never cried,

It was all power and sex appeal

I don’t feel

I don’t kiss

And I don’t miss

You

Because you can’t hurt me,

If I hurt you first.

My prom pictures show, 

Along with too much purple eyeshadow 

Thin, with orange tan skin

I knew how to hurt, knew how to win

But I couldn’t tell then,

It was all too much.

Time went on, 

my roots continued to grow

Each time not allowing them to show

the colors would change, would ebb and flow

over the years

my roots hinting of all my fears 

Later on, my hair became as black as midnight

I can conquer, I can fight

I know what’s right.

I can handle it all, absorb it like the night

A time of extremes

Living in a vintage dream

I’d silence the screams

By the performance; be bold

Anything meaningful stuck on hold

I wasn’t mean, just cold. 

The black said: I won’t cower

I can build more power

Work more hours

No time for flowers

Red lips, pale skin

I should stand out, not fit in

This is the way to be,

that’s the color, that, could be me

But really I was just trying to achieve 

A new look that still wasn’t me

As my roots grew out and needed a retouch

I was quick to hide them, to shut them up

Kill myself with stress, overexert.

I knew how to hide the hurt

After all the obsession,

The divorce and depression, 

I got curious about my roots-

I needed intercession

What was under all that dye?

What was true, what was a lie?

Finally ready to face my fears,

I hadn’t seen them in over 20 years. 

“My roots don’t matter, the problem isn’t me”

But I decided to try anyway, try to just let it be 

I was ready to finally see 

All the train wrecks

Trying to protect

Myself, face all my crimes

Admit, all my trying times

Terrified to let my roots be exposed, now knowing

But I let it go, let it grow, and they kept growing

Then the memory of the past came back clear

All my hopes, dreams, failures, traumas, fears

First became vibrant & near

Then, slowly fading out

I could finally see my roots growing out

And then came, a hint of light.

Is that blonde coming in, or gray, or white?

Is it too late? 

What will be my fate? I’d just have to wait. 

As my true color started to come around,

I found 

it had spun into a glimmering golden brown

Unlike any other, or another,

It was the real me

This is how I was created to be

a new color had emerged 

I finally knew how to hurt

Now, nothing has touched it

I don’t want to crush it

I don’t need to color

Make it brighter or duller

I don’t need to cover

who I am, a lover

a future mother

& everything else I’m learning to discover.

-Jenn Thorne

(This is a poem I wrote which essentially sums up my whole life)

Recent Work: Vintage Glamour

Makeup- Jules De Jesus Fritz @ Dollface by Jules
Photography-Dylan Wilson
Model- Sarah J. @ RISE MODELS
Styling-me

Recent Work: Bathing Beauty

Styling-me
Makeup-Dollface by Jules
Photography- Dylan Wilson
Model- Julia, RISE models

Recent Work: Strong Lip

Styling-me
Makeup- Dollface by Jules
Photography- Dylan Wilson 
Model- Katlyn, RISE models

Recent Work: Thirties Glamour

Here's a photo I styled from our Beaute Social shoot with Dollface by Jules and my husband- Dylan Wilson. This photo has stood out to me ever since I first laid eyes on it. I think it's because it has this wonderfully glamorous, dramatic quality about it.  It seems to capture a 'moment' and I love the shape of her body against the stairs.

Refashion Rescue: Vintage Hand Mirror

I picked up a vintage hand mirror recently for $2 while out thrifting. I was excited because I had been wanting a mirror to use functionally to see the back of my hair (since I never look at it!) Instead of going out and buying a cheap mirror at the drugstore I decided to wait for something pretty (and vintage) to catch my eye! However, thanks to the thrift store's method of pricing- when I took the clear tape off it also removed some of the design. I figured that was just a good excuse to embellish my mirror.... so here's what I did.

Supplies:

• Hand mirror 
• Krylon silver foil metallic spray paint (or whatever color you prefer)
• Cosmetic wedge sponge
• Super glue adhesive
• Old brooch (this was actually a cheapy necklace pendant and was a bright blue color)

Steps:

• In order to get your brooch color to mesh with your design, spray some of the spray paint onto the sponge and press onto the part of your jewel that you want to cover. Continue until you get the desired look, letting the paint dry a few minutes in between applications.
• Apply your adhesive to the back of your brooch and press onto the center of your mirror.
• Enjoy gazing at yourself in your new jeweled vintage hand mirror :)

Recent Work: Modern Flapper

Here's a look I styled for Beaute Social with Dollface by Jules and Dylan Wilson Photography. We had so much fun doing a modern update on a 1920s flapper look and our model Lucia totally worked it!  P.S.- The feather toque hat was an estate sale find for a steal!  :)

Recent Work: Vintage Glamour

Hi Guys!
I wanted to share with you some of my work from a recent project I've been working on. It's part of a new business venture- Beaute Socials- with makeup by Jules of Dollface By Jules and photography by my husband Dylan.  It's a one-stop destination for glamorous beauty portraits & vintage inspirations- we have makeup/hair/wardrobe/photography in one studio located in downtown Savannah. Below is a look I styled that features 20's and 50's inspirations brought up to date. The thing I love most is that almost all of the pieces are thrifted!

Flapper Look:
Pale pink dress- H&M clearance
Beaded bolero- Charlotte Russe clearance
Headband- custom made by me
Fan- Asian Festival
Shoes- given to me

Fifties Look:
Dress- thrifted
Gloves- antique find (gift)
Veil hat- antique find

Stay tuned for more looks!

A Midnight Beauty

Just wanted to share a favorite new find.... a vintage 1950s dusting powder box of the fragrance Midnight by Tussy! I spotted this whilst digging around at my favorite local antique spot- Wright Square Antique Mall. I adored the faded coloring and beautiful writing, plus it was an absolute steal so it went home with me...

Goodhousekeeping 1953 ad via Salty Cotton

Here's what it reads:

A fragrance can be as potent as a come-hither smile. And Midnight by Tussy is a scent that appeals to a gentleman's senses! This fabulous fragrance scents a whole series of lovely Tussy beauty aids from perfume to lipstick to dusting powder. Try them and see if they don't make you feel romantic... and make men feel romantic towards you." 

Do you have any vintage beauty products or packaging? I'd love to hear about them!

Makeup Bag Blues

This is the result of a makeup bag I got dirty but couldn't bear to throw away (hoarder!) So... I ripped the lining out which was the dirty part, took the zipper off, and was left with the outer fabric (which looks like a gabled roof) so I just kinda threw that on top of my head and secured with a bobby pin or two. I like the result- I think it ended up looking like a cross between a cloche and a juliet cap. I was loving the blues so of course had to have blue lips to match!

Oh, here's the bag if your wondering:

I added a flower clip here for another variation.
Hope this amuses you as much as it did me! :)
 Linking up at Ta-dah! Tuesday & Recycled Fashion Finds!

Bathing in black & white

Off to a poolside birthday party...



I like to try to stick to a color palette if possible when going poolside. Black and white combinations always promise plenty of drama...



I find that sleek, pulled back hair or loose who-cares waves are the only ways to go. I covered up my puppy dog tail bun here with a coordinating bow!




My poolside makeup routine (yes I wear it!) is all about fresh, dewy skin. My must-haves are a high SPF tinted moisturizer, bronzer to sculpt, and a pop of coral blush to brighten.


And yes-I often do a cat-eye (because it's quickest) and finish the look with coral gloss.









Outfit details:
Top- Old Navy
Bottom-Target
Coverup- hand me down from Kim
Sandals- New directions @ Belk
Hat-Nine West @ Belk
Hair bow- hand me down from Therese
Makeup- Lancôme Bienfait Multi-vital tinted moisturizer, Lancôme bronzer & black liquid liner, Stila coral custom color blush, Armour lip gloss in Anne Margaret (gift from CW).

What's your go-to look for the pool?

Fantasy Friday

A few fun, fantastical photos that have been inspiring me this week...



Loving the height and hues of this Marie Antoinette does drag wig via ebay seller Queens Wig
Master

Futuristic looking shoes from Melissa, as seen at the Philadelphia Museum of Art via the Idiosyncratic Fashionistas.




Temporary lip tattoos by Violent Lips as shown by Monroe Misfit Makeup.




One of my favorites "The Rose Roses" via Monroe Misfit Makeup. But you must check out all the other fun options below...





Which is your favorite?

Satin Ribbon Lash Luxury

So I was feeling experimental one night recently and got this idea of cutting a satin ribbon to create faux false lashes!

All I did was take a razor blade and start shredding the ribbon. The pieces came out looking like false lash strips which is where I got the notion to do this look. I applied the strips with lash adhesive- not incredibly effective for long wear but I think works fine for photos.

I kind of like the Twiggy-esque look of this for dramatic bottom lashes.... kind of a neat (and frugal) alternative to using up lots of false lashes if you want to have fun with 60s makeup looks for photos.

This was really just a thrown together look.... I touched up my eyes with shadow to finish it off.

So what had me playing with ribbon in the first place is a tip I found in this book:

 
That being- in the 1950s, Elizabeth Arden recommended "velvety lashes"- a look to be achieved by scraping a velvet ribbon with a razor blade and then apply by rolling your mascara wand into it and then onto the lashes.

When I read this I didn't have a velvet ribbon on hand so I haven't tried it yet but as you see I got another idea from the satin ribbon.

Retro Makeup by Lauren Rennells is honestly a must-have book for anyone who wants step by step instructions for recreating a vintage makeup look. It's filled with TONS of images and I love that there are lots of examples and interesting tid-bits that are lesser known. Even if you know a bit about vintage makeup already, you will find this book useful. To date it's really the best vintage makeup guide book I've found. (Emphasis on guide here because unlike lots of others out there this book will show you how to achieve the looks and give you the context).

More info available on the book here.

Also, Lauren has an awesome vintage beauty blog that I follow that you will want to check out if you love vintage makeup and hair- Bobby Pin Blog.

If anyone tries this with velvet ribbon let me know how it turns out!